I’ve been going through some serious emotional shit lately. This time it isn’t job related and I can’t really talk about it to most people. I am talking about it to my best support people and those involved. We’re going to get through it together, but it will take some time.
One of the things I’ve learned about having OCD is, in addition to obsessing over the negative stuff, you feel everything very strongly. When I have something like this hit me, even with all the mindfulness and therapy in the world, it’s hard to rise above it. I’ll think I’m fine for a while, then I stumble across a triggering thought and I’m upset all over again. There’s no way through but through.
I use music and poetry to help. I let myself wallow in sadness for a while and just wrap it around me like a big fuzzy blanket. These are some of my favorite wallowing songs, in no particular order.
There are many I&W songs that could be on this list, but this one is my favorite. I can’t really explain why, but I think it’s something to do with the theme of worrying about someone you care about.
This one reminds me of Donnie Darko, which is a great wallowing movie, and it’s also just a great song. I liked the original OK but it wasn’t gloomy enough.
Again, there could be several Gregory Alan Isakov songs on this list, but this one is my favorite. The story is just sad. Why aren’t you happy on the land you bought, man? Why did you want more? Kinda happy is happy! Go with that! Don’t reach for the stars. Throw rocks at them, like in the Stable Song.
Everything about Jason Molina, rest his soul, is sad. But his music had this bitter sense of humor I relate to so much. Everything you hated me for… honey there was so much more. I just didn’t get busted. It was hard to choose between this one and another favorite, “Long Dark Blues.”
After the first four I couldn’t decide which one fit the bill as a fifth, and I didn’t want to make this list too long, so this one is tongue in cheek, inspired by taking my kiddos to the Lego Movie 2 this weekend. It makes me feel better because even UniKitty gets down in the dumps sometimes. Then she dusts herself off, kicks some ass, and resumes her happy life.
Let’s all be like UniKitty.
Maybe next I’ll do Wallowing Poems. We’ll see how long it takes to get through this rough patch.